hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
