So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
