i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
