she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
