I CAN MOONWALK!
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You took a bar mat shot.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Randomize
