You really coming over, don't trick.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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