Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
