Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize