I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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