So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
