i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
