Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
