I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
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