even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It's blow job season.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
