He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
