How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
