Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I have tasted many bathrooms
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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