So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
So much Jack, so little girl.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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