Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
