just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
why is half of my head shaved?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
