I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
