O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
