census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
