He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
