it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
