Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
