I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
