I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
