I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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