butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
