It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
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