How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
the day after is always just damage control
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
