forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
