2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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