did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
