Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
