she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
My liver just had a heart attack.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
