I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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