I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
