What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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