So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
