I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
