To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
