No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
