A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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