You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
