I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
