They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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