remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
