her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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