I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
